Joining the Mile High Club


Joining the Mile High Club isn’t easy. Airplane bathrooms, as you may well know, are small and unpleasant.   It isn’t exactly the ideal situation for romance.  However, if you want to join the Mile High Club, you aren’t interested in romance. You are interested in being naughty!   And God bless you for that!  😉  

Personally, I’ve never done it.  But, I have thought about it.  And thought.  And thought some more.  I’m an obsessive thinker, in case you didn’t know.  So I think I can help you.    Here are my tips on how to bang at 40,000 feet. 

Choose a seat in the back row.   No one wants to sit in those seats, because it takes roughly a month to de-board the plane as a shit-ton of women ask for assistance to get their carry-on out of the overhead compartment.    If the plane isn’t full, the back seats will be the ones that are empty.    Therefore it will be less obvious when you get up and are in the lavatory… way longer than required. If you really want to fool everyone, don’t even sit next to each other. Then when you both get up, it will seem completely random.  Along those lines…

Make a plan. You two should probably have some sort of signal to meet at the bathroom, like blinking the light over your seat, getting something out of your bag, whatever.   But if you two sit apart, you need to be able to let the other know it’s time to go for it. 

Don’t think it has to be in the bathroom.  There are other ways to get freaky.    They give out blankets on flights.   Why not sit in the back, put a blanket over your laps, and jack your man?  He can return the favor by fingering you.    My one fear of this is that at the last second, I’ll lunch, the blanket will slip, and I’ll shoot cum over the top of the seat in front of me and into someone’s hair.   My first and second rope are long shots!  

Realize that timing is everything.  If you are going to use the bathroom, it’s best if you’re on an overnight flight, when passengers are sleeping and not in line for the bathroom.  If it’s not an overnight flight, wait until the flight attendants are serving drinks.   Most people refrain from getting in line for the bathroom at that time, because they don’t want to miss out on beverage service. 

Enter and exit one person at a time.   One person goes in.  A few mintutes later, the next person joins them.   If you get caught, here is your story: One of you was sick! Look worried! But everything is okay now! Yes, that’s what the noise was about.  When she was yelling “Oh Fuck!  Fuck!  Harder!” she was encouraging you to throw up with more intensity.  

Dress for sex.   The girl should be ideally wearing a skirt.   The guy should be wearing pants that pull down (and up!) easily.   

Stand up.   That toilet is nasty. You both should face the door and press against the wall over your head, for resistance. The guy stands behind the girl and they both drop drawers to their knees.  He slides in and gives her a hard pounding.

Make it snappy. You have less than 10 minutes before things start to look fishy, so master your quickie.  Frankly, the Mile High Club is less about cumming and more about being able to say you fucked in an airplane.   So don’t worry about results in this case.  Stick it in and celebrate! 

Realize the flight attendant will be in the know.   I’ve actually talked to them.  They know what is going on.   Thus, you are somewhat at their mercy.  Some take a live-and-let-live attitude about the whole thing.  Cleaning the bathrooms is not part of their job description, so they don’t care if there’s cum on the mirror.   But others don’t like it and will bust you.  Which leads me to my final point…

Be prepared to get in trouble.   Now, how much trouble are you going to get in?  Not much.   They can’t bust you for public fornication, I don’t believe, because you weren’t within sight of anyone.   They can’t bust you for unlawful presence, because they are unisex bathrooms.    The airline can maybe put you on their no-fly list, but I doubt that would happen too.   But you might get scolded somewhat.   So what?  You are in an elite club!   (Warning, I am sooooooo not a lawyer!   Haha.  So I’m not sure about any of that.)  

So, I  hope that helps some!  

If you do this, I have free t-shirts to the couple who sends me a Mile High Fan Sign.   A picture of the two of you, in the bathroom, fucking around, holding up a fansign.    That’s only like $800 worth of tickets and the risk of public humiliation in exchange for two free t-shirts!  😉 



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